i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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