all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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