she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
