Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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