And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
