If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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