So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
