I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
