obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
