The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize