i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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