yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
