No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
