ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize