do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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