so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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