i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.