Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper

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  (612): i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper http://tfl.nu/3dw5
  Replies (27) Good night (502) Bad night (3747) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Joe is yelling at the trees again.

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  (760): Joe is yelling at the trees again. http://tfl.nu/dpjn
  Replies (26) Good night (3800) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.

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  (708): I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event. http://tfl.nu/286m
  Replies (6) Good night (3486) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.

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  (402): Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR. http://tfl.nu/vjij
  Replies (25) Good night (7180) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.

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  (610): I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity. http://tfl.nu/4je5
  Replies (9) Good night (4951) Bad night (798) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.

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  (720): She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole. http://tfl.nu/92ru
  Replies (9) Good night (2843) Bad night (636) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.

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  (914): whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again. http://tfl.nu/9run
  Replies (5) Good night (1735) Bad night (1188) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"

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  (845): Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!" http://tfl.nu/ndk1
  Replies (4) Good night (4804) Bad night (611)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just puked in my drinking hat.

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  (708): Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending! (207): I just puked in my drinking hat. http://tfl.nu/2gwn
  Replies (1) Good night (1934) Bad night (797)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers

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  (314): Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers http://tfl.nu/hxbz
  Replies (4) Good night (2335) Bad night (619) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes

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  (812): Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes http://tfl.nu/54ik
  Replies (8) Good night (588) Bad night (1916) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.

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  (360): Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded. http://tfl.nu/tq2s
  Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (1425)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis

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  (402): Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis http://tfl.nu/hhal
  Replies (11) Good night (591) Bad night (1021)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.

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  (847): Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron. http://tfl.nu/1d6g
  Replies (14) Good night (683) Bad night (2449)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint

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  (319): Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint http://tfl.nu/ay0t
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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