I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure