Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.