And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
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You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?