Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
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Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
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but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize