I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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