How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Vodka?
Forever.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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