His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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