i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
