i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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