Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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