he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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