Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
