my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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