I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dignity is for republicans.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
