I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love black thongs
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
