This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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