dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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