singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
