I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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