after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
