my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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