Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
