I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Life is so much better after having sex.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize