the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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