Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize