It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
