Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
