No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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