He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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