yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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