THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
