And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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