can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
