So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.