12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
