This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
