so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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