I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
