If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
