8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
