Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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