I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
