i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
