i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm getting married
To pizza
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
