hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
